02 5 / 2013
I just want to free my heart from anxiety and fill it with understanding and patience. The more negative I think of for my future, the more unhappy I become. whenever I hear from my friends that they received a place in a uni, becoming lawyers, doctors and engineers, I prayed to the Lord, “Lord, I know im not smart enough, I know I dont have the resources to study overseas, all I have is you. I dont know what is my talent, all I need is directions. What is my purpose in this world?” at the beginning, it was easy to wait, but as it dreads longer, faith and hope starts to shake and its really really tough to hang on to God’s plan and the urge to do it my way. Im being tempted right now, not going to lie about that. However, I dont want to suffer the consequences again. Will I be able to embrace it through or crumble and fall? Lord, your ways and not mine.
27 4 / 2013
Okay“Who is the happiest person in the world?- Gracia, one of my sec sch friend”
When I read her tweet, I was shocked! I couldnt believe that she still remember how I was like in sec sch. I love my sec sch days; PE, running to the canteen for recess, doing tons of A math papers ,staying back for CCA and night classes, and I have a crush with a guy for 4 years straight!! Well, he is in the school’s volleyball team but that’s about it, not going to reveal too much. But it was those good old days that really made me happy. There were not much problems weighing down on me and I was just a happy go lucky student. But I asked myself ” Am I still happy today?” Not as much as before but I will always try to make an effort to have a positive mindset everyday before I get out of bed. Being happy does not mean you do not have problems in life, but whether you have peace in your heart and joy in your mind. I think I realised that my happiness comes from everyday blessings and not on my expectations and goals. And I would like to thank my friend for posting that tweet up and made me really reflect and not forget the most basic and essential feeling in life; being happy. Like always, happiness is always a choice. You can open the door and let it enter or leave it out there and forget about it. It is always there.
